They told me I was having a miscarriage.

It was several years back. We were in Salt Lake City. I was about 3 months pregnant. Suddenly began bleeding heavily in the middle of a department store. The horrible realization of what was going on is something I will never forget.

I sent my other children back to the hotel with someone and I don't remember how I got to the hospital but I went by myself. When I told the nurse what was going on, she told me I was miscarrying. I asked if it could possibly be anything else...she just looked at me kinda sadly and shook her head but saying, "Take a seat, someone will be with you."

I must have been pretty low on the list of priorities because it was forever before I was taken into a room. The doctor did his thing and said,"Yep, you are miscarrying." So, of course I am asking," Are you sure? Couldn't it be something else?" "No," says he. "Well, make it stop! How do we stop it?" Fully freaking out in every sense at this point.

The doctor tried to reason with me telling me I wouldn't want to stop it if I could. He said when you miscarry at that stage in the pregnancy it's usually because something was horribly wrong anyway. So, "It was for the best." Yeah, right. Like I wanted to hear that crap.

Several hours later, they finally sent me up for an ultrasound. They wanted to make sure everything had "evacuated" ok, or was working its way out properly. (or whatever the hell stupid-ass terms they used.)

Guess what they found?
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This:

Yep, it was Bubba. Now, she didn't look like that, of course:) She looked like a little peanut with a tiny beating heart. Least thats what the Ultra Sound Technician told me.

So..... I asked her how long the miscarriage would take, still thinking that I was miscarrying. She could not figure out what I was talking about until I explained to her what was going on. She told me I was definitely NOT miscarrying and the baby was perfectly healthy.

That was truly the worst couple of hours of my life- when I thought I had lost her...and I didn't even know her yet. She wasn't any bigger than a peanut, and I loved her. Loved her with all my heart.